MY FUNNY VALENTINE

(Okay, this is a reprint of what I posted in 2014 and it’s evergreen….)

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Reason Number Pi why I love you and don’t deserve you:

…because when I’m leaving the dentist’s today after having a small helicopter crammed into my mouth (that is necessary now for a digitalized x-ray )

and I’m saying my goodbyes, trying to get my jaw to work again and reclaim my fresh mouth,

the dentist tells me she saw you at the health club.

Her seven year old was checking all the vending machines for stray quarters, a game she always plays after her mother takes her swimming,

and you sneaked a quarter in a tray when she wasn’t looking

and you told her to make sure she checked the trays again and then you left.

Because you’re a man who practices random acts of kindness and then doesn’t even feel the need to tell me when you do

(when I would’ve created a .gif of myself doing the same thing and posted it on my blog and my facebook page).

…because you like to scare me with your random Ronald Reagan face peeking out at parties.

…because your Gary Cooper makes me giggle like I’m six.

…because you bought a macramé bracelet from the little girl next door when she sat alone at the top of the driveway with a spindly table displaying her wares.

…because you told me that your excised scene from Spike’s her, the one about a man in love with a 747, is really about me

…because there’s Jesse in there, somewhere and you raised him up somehow

An incantation that is kindness, that is the pi of love, calculated beyond a trillion trillion.

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